Here are some of the best Geek jokes....i will keep updating...dont forget to share if you have one.
- Q: Which right-hand rule do students use on bad physics professors?
A: Step 1: Extend your right arm forward from the elbow. Step 2: Keeping your palm facing to the left, stick out your middle finger. Step 3: Rotate your hand 90 degrees clockwise.
- Operating System Based
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Bugs come in through open Windows.
Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun.
Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.
Windows is not a virus, viruses do something.
Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows.
Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.
- This is apparently a true story. It took place just outside of Munich, Germany.
Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."
- The following is a little known, true story about Albert Einstein (attributed to Paul Harvey).
Albert Einstein was just about finished his work on the theory of special relativity, when he decided to take a break and go on vacation to Mexico. So he hopped on a plane and headed to Acapulco. Each day, late in the afternoon, sporting dark sunglasses, he walked in the white Mexican sand and breathed in the fresh Pacific sea air. On the last day, he paused during his s troll to sit down on a bench and watch the Sun set. When the large orange ball was just disappearing, a last beam of light seemed to radiate toward him. The event brought him back to thinking about his physics work. "What symbol should I use for the speed of light?" he asked himself. The problem was that nearly every Greek letter had been taken for some other purpose. Just then, a beautiful Mexican woman passed by. Albert Einstein just had to say something to her. Almost out of desperation, he asked as he lowered his dark sunglasses, "Do you not zink zat zee speed of light is zery fast?" The woman smiled at Einstein (which, by the way, made his heart sink) and replied, "Si."
And know you know the rest of the story.
- Q: Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
- Three months before his 1905 seminal relativity paper, Einstein perform the following thought experiment, which, by the way, is known as a gedanken experiment in theoretical physics:
Einstein imagined, "If I vere to put my hand on a hot stove for a minute, it vould seem like an hour. But if I vere to sit with a pretty girl for an hour, it vould seem like a minute. By Jove, I think time is relative."
- Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.
- Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS..